It’s that time again, that time of year when all clarity and faith is lost or rather are they pushing against and hiding behind everything I want to believe. Expectations will be the death of me but cynisim will take my dreams and my ambitions, the only things I only truly have to their grave and I am torn between both roads. Nothing good in life ever comes easy and If I had known that the compromise would mean choosing heart or mind or visa versa I would have been one to choose to shut down my heart. But I can’t do that; the thoughts rushing through my mind are the result of the blood running through my veins and the emotions I carry under my skin. I cannot shun the voice of my heart as it is my muse. Without my feelings, my soul and my thoughts I have nothing and while my head is reaching to touch the ceiling of the universe my heart is pulling me back because I cannot shut down my feelings. I am struggling within that space where no word has ever entered, that space where all thoughts and hopes linger waiting to form a line that will somehow one day apply to reason. I am just sitting afloat the boat that takes me across that limbo but I don’t know where I’m heading. My dream serves me as a beacon of light I can see flicker on the far horizon and I can only but hope for the best in reaching it. With my eyes set upon it I’ll make my way towards that light and force myself not to look back because the shadows that lie behind me might eat me alive. Here’s to fighting for faith, never losing sight of that beacon of light and letting go of all expectations.
